IC Contact

[peeta_bread]

Hey. This is Peeta Mellark. Leave me a message and I'll get back to you. Thanks.

[Action ✖ Voice ✖ Text ✖ Video]

Comments

[peeta_bread]

What... [It takes him a bit to catch up. But he does, surprise and then grief taking over.] Katniss, no... no, don't say that. Don't apologize. Please don't.

[He didn't want to die. He didn't want to be trapped in the Capitol. He was scared and he wanted a way out. But he didn't want to show that to Katniss.]

It's okay.

[He takes her gently by the shoulders. He didn't realize how much he hurt her, the guilt he'd put on her. She doesn't deserve that. He doesn't want to hurt her anymore.]

It's not your fault. Just let it go. Let me go.

[resolve]

[She looks up with wide eyes, both in response to the touch and to what she's hearing. Because it's what she'd heard before, so long ago now. But in an instant, all that time fades away. She's on the beach in the arena, listening with dread as he makes his intentions clear.

"If you die, and I live, there's no life for me at all back in District 12. You're my whole life. ... No one really needs me."

Tears that have been months overdue begin to spill over before she can blink them back.]

No. [She shakes her head vehemently.] No. It was my fault. All my fault. I should've - [A beat] I shouldn't have gone. I... I shouldn't have left you. I -

[She can't finish the thought. A sob cuts in.]

[peeta_bread]

[He immediately gathers her up in a hug. He can't stand to see her like this. He's crying by now, too, the tears falling onto her shoulder.]

Shh. It wasn't your fault. It was Haymitch's decision and he made it. I forgave him a long time ago.

[It still stung a lot, but he understood. He chose Katniss. It's what Peeta wanted.]

I've been so stupid in Exsilium. I wasn't thinking of you. I'm so sorry, Katniss. Please let me be your friend. Please don't push me away. I need you.

[resolve]

[Once it starts, it can't stop. By now, the sobs are uncontrollable. A dam has burst, allowing months and months' worth of emotions she'd held back to flood out all at once. The anguish, the guilt, the hopelessness, and everything in between. And it's then that she's finally allowed to break.

She willingly allows herself to be gathered into that hug, and wraps her arms around his neck. Clings to him like a lifeline. A capacity for words is beyond lost to her, but when she can catch a breath, she nods against his shirt in response.

Because she needs him, too. What she'd said to him on the beach is still just as true as it ever was.]

[peeta_bread]

[He just holds her for a long time, closing his eyes. He's so relieved. He didn't want to lose her.

He pulls away reluctantly once she's calmed down a little.]

Hey. You have me here, okay? I promise, as long as you need me, I'll be there.

[resolve]

[The truth is, she doesn't deserve this. Not really. What she's done has no chance of being absolved until he's out of the Capitol and safe. Until she's killed Snow. Even then, it may never be.

But she can't deny that by the time she's cried out and he pulls away, she feels so much lighter, lighter than she has in almost as long as she can remember. She even manages to give him the smallest of smiles when she's pulled herself together.

There is, though, one more apology she has to make. (Wouldn't Effie be proud right now)]

I'm sorry I pushed you.

[peeta_bread]

[He smiles back.] Hey, don't worry. I've had worse.